IT MATTERS I felt so special when you found me in this big crowd. You looked in my eyes before she opened the cage and put me in your carrier. You smiled. You said everything was okay now, that I would have a warm bed, and food, and you would love me. You looked right in my eyes when you said that, and I looked back at you. I might not speak your language, but I knew what you meant. I felt it. Thank you for saving me. It was so good at first. The food was so nice, I was clean, not itchy from fleas for a change. You let me climb in your lap and I purred for you. Just for you. I hadn't done that in so long. I thought I would never get to do it again. It took me such a long time to feel okay doing that. It was so warm and wonderful. Thank you for being patient with me. But then, it all changed. I tried to settle in like I was supposed to. I put my scent in your home, to claim it as mine. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. You put out a covered box for me. You didn't realize I was afraid to get in there because something hurt. You didn't know; it wasn't your fault. You yelled at me when I got sick on your rug. I didn't mean to get sick there. The little girl pulled my tail so hard... it hurt me, but I didn't mean to hurt her back. I really didn't, I just had to do something about the pain. I really just wanted her to be gentle and close, so I could purr for her too. Then, it seemed I could do nothing to please you. You didn't let me in your lap anymore. You don't talk to me in that sweet, kind voice like you did before. What did I do wrong? I was so happy. I thought everything had changed. You put me out here, where there is no one to see and no one to touch me. It's so different. I'm not sure what to do here. I've never been out here before, but you couldn't know that either I guess. It's cold under my feet. I thought you loved me. You said you loved me. I love you. But then... you said I "wasn't working out." What does that mean? Please, please, how can I work out? I don't want to be out here alone. Your neighbors don't like me... they throw things at me when you are not looking. Sometimes the things hit me and it hurts, but I don't know how to tell you. I feel things crawling on me. I can't find a soft place to sleep. I know you would care if only I could tell you. I know you would. You looked at me again this morning-- finally. I had missed the kindness in your face. But this time, I couldn't tell what kind of look that was that you gave me. It made me feel scared. Now I am in your carrier again. You are talking to someone...someone familiar to me. She looks sad. There are the cages again... I remember them. It is dark and loud in there. There are so many of us... so many. Please give me another chance. You are turning around and walking away now... but I noticed something-- you didn't look in my eyes this time. Oh, how I had hoped you would. I will miss you... ----The Dumped Shelter Cat Keep your promises. IT MATTERS.
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